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You Can't Kill Light

by Monica Pasqual

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    Beautiful digipak designed by artist Hugh D'Andraded with photos by Andrea Scher and artwork by Mati Rose McDonough.

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1.
I am still, and all around is rage The night explodes, the windows shake I’m still and I’m afraid This wild dark Is when I want you most Your beating heart would calm my own Your arms would hold me close But oh, I know, I know that’s not the way that this game goes We set the rules when we agreed to play But oh, I thought that I knew all the moves, could keep my cool But now it’s clear I want you everyday Take my hand I’m running hard from sadness Ain’t got much time, ain’t got much time Be my man We could embrace the madness All on the line, all on the line In a room For three days you and me We didn’t try, to prove or hide We only had to be And in that car Our fingers holding tight I leaned my cheek against your arm I memorized the night But oh, I know, I know that’s not the way that this game goes We set the rules when we agreed to play And oh, I thought that I knew how to be careless and free But now it’s clear I want you everyday Take my hand I’m running hard from sadness Ain’t got much time, ain’t got much time Be my man We could embrace the madness All on the line, all on the line
2.
Little Duck 03:21
I am the wave, I’m the rock, I’m the rolling I’m the dark, I’m the deep, I’m the blue I am the cloud, I’m the storm, I’m the pouring rain And I’m holding a line out to you You are the sail, you’re the fish, you’re the little duck With an eye on the bow and the stern Wink and prayer, make a wish and with a little luck You’ll ride the next twist, the next turn The next turn I am the heave, I’m the crash, I’m the undertow The calm and the rage down below You are the drift, you’re the float, you’re the little duck And you live in the ebb and the flow The ebb and the flow My Troubles, my schemes, my fears and my dreams They toss and they knock us about But you ride the wave, you feel safe, you’re the little duck And you go with the ins and the outs The ins and the outs Row, row, row your boat You’ll never know, never know, never know Row, row, row your little boat There she blows, there she blows, there she blows I am the howl, I’m the fight, I’m the shuttering I’m the dark, I’m the deep, I’m the blue You are the stray in the stream, you’re the little duck You ride the drift of a dream, you’re the little duck Tucked in the wave, folded wings, you’re the little duck But I’m holding a line out to you
3.
I’m afraid, I’ve done it wrong again Wish I could just begin To Sing this song again But I’m afraid There’s too much too undo I walked away from you Could we just start it new? And you, ooh, ooh, ooh Like Sun in my eyes I try not to look through But you, ooh, ooh, ooh Like water and sky It’s hard not to need you Here I am The same face in the mirror I did not want you here But now I’m stuck with fear And I’m afraid It seems like nothings changed I end up just the same I’ve done it wrong again And you, ooh, ooh, ooh Like Sun in my eyes I try not to look through But you, ooh, ooh, ooh Like water and sky It’s hard not to need you And this is me A stranger in this town A girl with no renown It feels like falling down Did I say girl? Sometimes I feel that way I cannot break away I’m such a sad cliché And you, ooh, ooh, ooh Like Sun in my eyes I try not to look through But you, ooh, ooh, ooh Like water and sky It’s hard not to need you
4.
Where I am the ceiling’s high The walls are two feet deep The light slants through the windowpanes I wake up from my sleep There’s not a lot that we can do I don’t know what to say Today I won’t be coming home the same I went away One day the Mother comes, fills your heart Don’t say another word, it’s what you’re from, it’s who you are The palm tree, the golden stone, the crooked street One day the Mother lies down at your feet A mystic told me something strange She made me feel afraid The tower bells rang through my bones I fainted dead away When the world came spinning back I saw through different eyes Today I won’t be coming home the same I said goodbye One day the Mother comes, fills your heart Don’t say another word, it’s what you’re from, it’s who you are The palm tree, the golden stone, the crooked street One day the Mother lies down at your feet Bridge – Poem in Spanish by Pilar Pobil, (Monica’s mother) One day the Mother comes, she pulls you close and fills your heart You don’t say another word, it’s what you are The palm tree, the golden stone, the crooked street One day the Mother lies down at your feet One day the Mother comes, she pulls you close and fills your heart Don’t say another word, it’s what you’re from, it’s who you are The palm tree, the golden stone, the colored glass, the crooked street One day the Mother lies down at your feet One day the Mother comes and lies down at your feet
5.
I’m standing here, I’m looking that way A road runs between You know what I mean From over there you catch my eye In your cap and your jeans You know what I mean For a moment it feels like something But we keep on walking It seems like these times are not made for love More like a spark To burn up the dark And we tell ourselves it’s good to be free So we cage up the heart Like a separate part For a moment it feels like something But we keep on walking Possibility Empty Calories The plate from which we feed I never thought I’d end up this way A seat at the bar Don’t know who you are But the shape of your lips, the feel of your skin My blood starts to burn Somehow I don’t learn For a moment it feels like something But we keep on walking
6.
We build a fire Fire burns bright You can blow hard But you can’t kill light We come together Sometimes we fight You can knock us down But you can’t kill light You Can’t Kill Light No you can’t kill light We built a railroad Out of the past We nailed down every tie And we won’t go back High in your tower Of steel & glass You can sign the order But we won’t go back We won’t go back No we won’t go back We built this house That we could share Now you want it for yourself But we’re still here You think we’re different And it makes you scared So you raise a wall around you But we’re still here We’re still here we’re still here We lay the table We shared our cup Now you tell us we’re not welcome But we don’t give up We outlast hate We rise above You can knock us down But you can’t kill love You can’t kill love no you can’t kill love You can’t kill love no you can’t kill love We built a fire Fire burns bright You can blow hard But you can’t kill light We come together We come to fight You can knock us down But you can’t kill light You Can’t Kill Light No you can’t kill light You Can’t Kill Light No you can’t kill light
7.
I took a walk to the sky I looked up then I closed my eyes I won’t need them anymore I don’t know what I’m standing for The wind rushing round I try to shout but make no sound I don’t have it anymore I left it on a foreign shore Oh Magnificent Obsession Oh Magnificent Obsession I dream but I don’t sleep I lay down in the weeds I told them have your way with me I can’t fight you anymore I lay down where the dirt was warm I lay down with my tools I told the earth to take them, too I won’t need them anymore I cede this battleground, it’s yours Oh Magnificent Obsession Oh Magnificent Obsession I dream but I don’t sleep I taste the breath of wings I think I hear an angel sing I can’t stop this anymore I take the steps I’m through the door The wind rushing round I try to shout, but make no sound I can’t find it anymore I don’t know what I’m standing for Oh Magnificent Obsession Oh Magnificent Obsession I dream but I don’t sleep
8.
If You Ask 03:25
I’ve been washed, I’ve been shined Paraded for another dime Sometimes it’s good but it don’t feel like love Every night a different town I close my eyes I turn around I give it all and still it’s not enough But if you ask I will I will, I will I’ll give you more, I’ll fill I’ll fill, I’ll fill you Up until, until Until it kills me If you ask I will Oh, oh, oh I will Once I thought the whole wide world A mystery that would unfurl And all I had to do was be myself But now my world’s another floor, another key, another door Another room, another empty shelf But if you ask I will I will, I will I’ll give you more, I’ll fill I’ll fill, I’ll fill you Up until, until Until it kills me If you ask I will Oh, oh, oh I will I could twist, I could bend I hurt myself, I hurt my friends I built it up but it’s just bones and wood Another night another stage Another crowd, I feel my age And I could be replaced, you know I could But if you ask I will I will, I will I’ll give you more, I’ll fill I’ll fill, I’ll fill you Up until, until Until it kills me If you ask I will Oh, oh, oh I will
9.
I’m gonna write it as it comes, I’m gonna stop it when I have to, When there’s nothing more to say But right now you’re all around me, slant of sun on the floor, smell of coffee, and all I cannot throw away You keep breaking down my walls Walking through these halls Like you still own me I can recall the night I met you, when I didn’t think I would get you, I watched you from the stage And the time you stood behind me, admiring a painting, and asked if you could stay You started breaking down my walls Walking through my halls Like you could own me Breaking down my walls so you could own me It was October my bed in the sun-porch We lay together our hands traced the contours Our faces we couldn’t see But every bone, every breath felt familiar, Locked as we were to the future There was no time for sleep I felt you breaking down my walls Walking through my halls Like you would own me Some days I’m like a leaf that’s fallen far from home Longing and searching for the branch where I am known Some days are more like claws, I long to leave what was The scrape of memories , the painful scar of love I’m gonna write it as it comes, I’m gonna stop it when I have to, When there’s nothing more to say But right now you’re all around me, slant of sun on the floor, smell of coffee, and all I cannot throw away You keep breaking down my walls Walking through these halls Like you still own me
10.
I want it easy, I want it free One day to find it’s not on me I go from couch, from chair to chair No matter what, she’s everywhere Everywhere I go I bring my ghost Run down the street I’m moving fast But this thing clutches at my back Sometimes I’m blind, I’m unaware No matter what, she’s everywhere Everywhere I go I bring my ghost Everywhere I go I bring my ghost Ooh hoh The road is long, I’m getting old But she’s still young and she is bold I move from dream, from fear to prayer No matter what, she’s everywhere Everywhere I go I bring my ghost Everywhere I go I bring my ghost Ooh hoh
11.
You 04:43
You were I dream I lost but couldn’t forget I walked alone, a stumble in my step And it was years of traveling in the dark But you were always there inside my heart Waiting til I was ready to believe Opened my eyes so I could finally see Came and showed me everything I need You, different tongue and different hemisphere A world apart but also always here I wandered over land and sea alone Until I found the one I’ve always known Waiting til I was ready to believe Opened my eyes so I could finally see You came and showed me everything I need I need, you’re everything I need Waiting til I was ready to believe Opened my eyes so I could finally see You came and showed me everything I need There was a door, you had the key Opened it wide so I could finally see You are the one, you’re everything I need I need, you’re everything I need

credits

released October 18, 2019

All Songs by Monica Pasqual
Produced by Monica Pasqual & BZ Lewis
Engineered by BZ Lewis at Studio 132
Mastered by Michael Romanowski at Coast Mastering
Vocals, piano, keyboards, keyboard bass, percussion by Monica Pasqual
Guitars, bass, drum programming, percussion BZ Lewis
Cello by Joshua McClain
Poem in One Day The Mother Comes by Pilar Pobil and read by Rosario Sammartino
Album design by Hugh D'Andrade
Photos by Andrea Scher
Art by Mati Rose McDonough

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Monica Pasqual San Francisco

Pasqual is the winner of 9 Independent Music Awards. Her songs have been used on numerous network television shows and she has composed soundtracks for PBS, The History Channel and National Geographic Television. For the last 19 years Monica has been a member of the popular Bay Area Band, Blame Sally, touring the US and Europe extensively & releasing 8 albums. She has recorded 6 solo albums. ... more

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